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According to Don Miguel Ruiz, the first thing you need to do is to be aware that your belief system is based on lies. There is no need to blame society, but it is time to stop this mental abuse now. You must create your own dream about who you are. You must reprogram your mind, by adopting alternative agreements with yourself. You need to break the agreements that make you suffer, and replace them with new agreements that make you happy. The following four agreements are a great place to start.
1) I do not take anything personally-- You take things personally when you agree with whatever someone says about you. You assume that everything is about you, that you are responsible for everything. You assume that they know what is in your world, and you try to impose your world on their world. But in truth, they are living in their own world, one that is completely different from ours. Even when they insult you directly, it comes from the agreements they have in their own minds; their own feelings, beliefs and opinions. It has nothing to do with you; it is about them. Even your own opinions about yourself are not necessarily true. Do not take them personally either. When you take things personally, you react by defending your own beliefs and creating conflict. You set yourself up to suffer for nothing.
2) I am impeccable with your world-- This means to never say things that go against yourself or others. When you are impeccable with your word, you take responsibility for your actions but you do not judge or blame yourself. Use your words to find the truth and love for yourself and others. We use our words against ourselves when we say things like "I am fat" or "I am stupid". We often use our words to express anger, jealousy, envy and hate. We use them to curse, to blame, to find guilt, to destroy. We have learned to communicate like this and it is a hard habit to break. This perpetuates the collective dream of society. Make a new agreement with yourself to seek out the positive truth about yourself and others, and to only communicate that truth.
3) I do not make assumptions-- We make assumptions about what other people are doing or thinking, and then we take it personally and then we blame them. If other people do not tell us something, we make assumptions to fulfill our need to know and to replace the need to communicate. We make assumptions because we do not have the courage to ask questions. We make assumptions because we are afraid to ask for clarity, and then we defend our assumptions and try to make the other person wrong. Always ask questions rather than make assumptions. Break the agreement with yourself that it is not safe to ask questions. Do not assume that other people know what you think and you do not have to tell them what you want. Do not assume that you know what other people are thinking, or that they think the same way that you do. Do not assume that other people are judging, criticizing, or blaming you, just because that is what you do to yourself. Most importantly, do not assume that you know everything about yourself. Do not overestimate or underestimate yourself. Do not make assumptions about what it is that you want in life.
4) I always do my best-- The important thing to remember here is that your best is always changing, from one moment to another. Do not try to do more than your best because you will spend more energy than is needed, and in the end your best will not be good enough. Do not try to do less than your best because you will subject yourself to frustration, self-judgment, guilt, and regrets. Even if you are sick or tired, if you just do your best then you can't judge yourself, and thus you can't suffer from guilt, blame, and self-punishment. When you do your best, you take action; not because you're expecting a reward, but because you love it. If you only take action when you expect a reward, then you will not enjoy the action, and so you will not do your best. If you take action just for the sake of doing it, without expecting a reward, you will find that you enjoy every action you do. Rewards will come but you are not attached to the reward. You know you are doing your best when you are enjoying the action or doing it in a way that will not have negative repercussions for you. You are doing your best because you want to do it, not because you feel you have to
Always do your best at keeping the other 3 agreements. Do not judge yourself if you can not keep these other 3 agreements all the time. Just do your best, always, over and over again. Create a new, more emotionally healthy, dream about who you are, starting today.
Author Resource:- Tracy Crowe is the author of this article.
For more ideas about how to be truly successful, visit http://www.reachingmypotential.com
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